So I am on my daily dog walk (yes, with poop in hand) and I walk by a huge honeysuckle bush. I love honeysuckles. Growing up in the South my summers were filled with the fragrant scent of honeysuckle in the wind. My best friend Ali and I would swim all day and then pick honeysuckles and eat them while laying in the grass on the hill outside of my house in the evenings while lightning bugs would announce their presence in the dark. Those were wonderful memories. How I wish I was back there - just for a moment - to remember how carefree life was.
I promised I would be transparent with ya'll, so I want to delve into another memory that came up during my honeysuckle recollection.
It was about that same time that I tried out for cheer leading. I believe I was in the 7th grade and our middle school was holding tryouts. So I tried out - and made it. Now - you should know there was nothing particularly special about me during that time - every girl made it. But either way - I was in. Because we weren't old enough to drive, our parents had to take turns driving us to and from practice and games. It was my dad's turn to pick up my friend Krista and me from the game. Krista was a pretty blond - lived in a huge house - and must of (to my 7th grade perception) had a lot of money. You can imagine my embarrassment, then, when my father drove up in his big green - beat up - construction truck.
I thought I was going to die. Looking back now I realize it was my first memory of vanity around cars. I immediately excused the truck to my friend Krista and we got in.
BIG MISTAKE. Now, my dad died just 3 years later, so most or all of you have never met him, but he was a force. A retired New York State Trooper who was 6'2" and about 200 lbs. of muscle (for those of you connecting the dots, yes his physique resembles that of my husbands - thank God for counseling - ha ha). Anyways, we dropped Krista off and then I got the beat down. My father told me to NEVER apologize for the type of car that you drive and to never feel embarrassed by him or make him feel that way again. He went on to say he was a business man who owned his own company, his own house and his own car and that I was ridiculous to feel the way I did.
OUCH. That hurt. I was the baby in our family and pretty much NEVER got in trouble. I was also extremely spoiled in the eyes of my sister and brother, so dad yelling at me was not common. I felt very bad about what I had done and apologized.
But do you know what - that is where it all started and it has taken this long (26 years later) for me to realize that I need to not put vanity in front of humility. Wow, what a lesson. I only wish dad had lived long enough to give me more lessons. Who knows where I would have ended up.
Peace out.
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Bless your dad and his values; he was clearly secure in his own identity. I think that from his present location, he is smiling at the woman his little girl became, a woman who has the courage to be honest with herself about herself.
ReplyDeleteYou always know what to say Jan - you are very wise. I would bet you that John and my dad are having quite a good time together.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. Ali and I were just talking about how much we love your blog. I remember your dad. I think he was the biggest man I had ever met in my life (at the time)! What a great lesson for us all to remember!
ReplyDeleteChristi, of course you would remember him. we were all inseperable back then. what fun, remember swimming for like 8 hours a day, and playing sharks and minnows??? Thanks for following.
ReplyDeleteKristen, first, thanks for remembering my birthday! We are both the 5th of different months- we always thought that was so cool! We had such good times! That hill behind your house had great memories- essentially just passing time being young girls! I remember your dad! He had such a deep voice and dark skin and dark hair- I seem to remember lots of hair on his arms! He loved to tease us too! You know children become very aware of what people have and don't have at an early age! I've been seeing signs of it for about a year now with my 5 year old. I'm just glad you remember that lesson from your dad. He gave you a gift that day- a life lesson you are using now! And, in essence you are giving everyone a lesson now- life is not about what you have, but how you treat people. It's hard to remember, but finding beauty in people- smiling at people, caring about that person on the bus even though you don't know them! Listen to me ramble - for me it's sometimes hardest to treat the people I'm closest to with these values- sometimes it's almost easier to treat strangers kindly. Am I putting up a front by doing that? The pool was great fun- we were always so tan!!! Remember laying out with tin foil and baby oil?! Remember that trampoline in your front yard! By the way, I remember the green truck! I didn't think twice about it! Your family treated me like their own! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteAli - ahhh, all great memories. It is amazing to think of them, we had such a wonderful childhood together. Thanks for the memories and also for reconnecting with me. I am so glad to have you back in my life. I pray your daughter finds wonderful friends like we had.
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