Do I Want to be Right or Happy

A counselor once asked me in a session if I wanted to be right or if I wanted to be happy. "What's the difference" I jokingly asked her.

"Actually", she said, "A lot.". First, our quest to be right is often more important to us than our quest for happiness. Many of us have so many different views and opinions on issues that all we care about is proving that our stand on a certain issue is the correct stand. Think hot topics like abortion, the death penalty or religion. Many times we don't consider that if we allow others the same respect to voice their opinions and views - we'll be happier for it.

While I have serious views on the above issues, I oftentimes don't allow others to state what they feel about them and why. I tend to over control the conversation and shut down people who disagree with my opinion. I guess I have always felt that if you don't stand on the same side as me then we don't have anything in common. This puts a wall up between people, therefore making us less sociable with others - henceforth - more unhappy.

I am beginning to believe - wait for it - that I am wrong. Not on my views or stance on important issues - but wrong on how I allow others to share with me their views or stances.

This came to my attention while taking time away from driving everywhere (I told you I was doing some deep thinking during my biking and walking). Today while walking to Starbucks (heads up people, still no endorsement money from them - darn it - LOL) I just started thinking about how I used to feel "environmentalistic tree huggers" were a little bit crazy. So stressed about the environment, global warming, etc. I would barely hear when someone would be trying to prove to me that I had to start this or give up that in order to help our environment (please don't kill me - I am just trying to be honest). Well, yesterday on the beach at sunset a family of 4 were releasing balloons into the sky (quite possibly as a memorial to someone they just lost - at least that was my thought). I respected that they may be mourning, but to be honest I was more upset to think that those balloons would soon lose helium and probably end up in the ocean somewhere. That brought me to think of how we can't really afford to have more crap in the ocean, that with oil spewing daily and all the trash that is already there.

I STOPPED right there on the beach and thought - wow - how did I become this person who cares about our world more than I ever have before. First, it has to be that biking and walking has forced me to see our world more "closer up" if that is a term. Second, I am learning to allow myself the concept that other people may be right as well - and that my friends - MAKES ME HAPPY. Tell my counselor I am cured!!